Hoya’s pov

“You told her?”

I nodded.

Every part of me seemed to ache and all the emotions I had held back while talking to Eunmi had finally come. It was as if a ton of bricks had dropped down on me, everywhere seemed to hurt.

But I had to do this. For her and for me, for both us.

Eunmi had always been bad at showing her feelings, ever since day one. She wasn’t awkward; she just wasn’t as expressive with her words or actions. But if she had said something, you best believe it because Eunmi never lied. She hated lying more than anything in the world and would only to do so if she really had.

What I had said to her was party true, most importantly I wanted her to learn to open herself up to people and not just expect them to know how she felt. I would be devastated if after this time, she figures that she didn’t love me anymore but if she learnt to open heart, I know that someone will discover the goodness of her and appreciate and take care of her, the way she was supposed to be treated.

I had to do this for me as well. I have a very obsessive and stubborn nature. It didn’t come to the point where it was freakishly scary but I have to say it was a little unhealthy. When I had confessed to Eunmi for the first time and she had rejected me and something really came over me. I had to have her. For a while I had this mentality that she had to be mine, like the way a child was possessive of a toy. I started going after her and started hanging around her, to convince her to be with me. (a/n be mine came on whilst writing this lol)

Of course whilst hanging around her, the obsession died down and I fell for her. But even when we started dating I had a very protective hold of her. We were always together. Whether it was physically or on the phone texting. Once we left high school, moving in together seemed to be the most natural thing to do. Eunmi had always been slightly uncomfortable but the longer we stayed together, the more normal it became.

My protective nature was not normal though. It never became a problem with Eunmi or I but as time passed I had numerous friends and family point it out and then I had finally started thinking about my relationship with Eunmi.

Eunmi was too used to being loved and never felt she had to show hers when it came to me, which was ok in the beginning but hurt more as our relationship went on. She craved affection and attention but never seemed to show it back.  Whereas I always pushed my love and care onto people, without thinking. I was too forceful with my affection and couldn’t stand it if people didn’t accept. I needed to learn to first of all, accept rejection and also to learn how to let go and give people space.

In a way, we were perfect for each other. But it wasn’t healthy. We both filled the not so conventional voids for each other, but what if we were never together?

It was something that I thought about constantly and thus my decision to take the break.

We both needed this. It’ll be good for us. I hope.

“You can stay for however long you need ok? I’m here for you bro” Dongwoo said, as he smiled sympathetically.

I always knew I could rely on Dongwoo. He was like the older brother I never had.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.” I said.

“While you’re here I’ll help you ok?” Dongwoo looked me in the eye.

I felt a slight bit uncomfortable. Help? Why would I need help?

And that’s when I realised how in denial I was.

I thought I knew myself pretty well, but after detaching myself from Eunmi and actually realising that I needed to change myself, I realised that there are a lot more flaws to me then I thought.

“Letting me stay over, is more help then I need hyung” I replied, smiling gratefully.

“Hoya, I know you’re going through this rough patch and I’m not going to be one of those friends who thinks getting laid is the answer to everything…”

I chucked at his words.

“But now that you’re on this ‘break’ we’ll have some serious bro time yeah? I’ll intro you to some of my friends, we can go play some b-ball and hey when was the last time you danced?” Dongwoo raised his eyebrows.

“A while…” I said with regret.

I loved dancing. But work and being with Eunmi constantly was time consuming.

“Exactly. Some relaxation time will do you some good. Don’t think I’ve realised how tense you’re these past couple of months. Now that you’re staying with me, we’ll have some fun and it’ll help you clear your head”

The thought of doing all the things I used to do was tempting. Maybe Dongwoo was right, maybe a little bit of fun would help with my situation with Eunmi.

“You’re the best Dongwoo hyung.”

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Sorry this took a while

shitty chapter but had to be done

this was pretty hard chapter to write

next chapter will be eunmi's pov