If love is measured by how much one
was in pain
Then you were a love that I won’t ever have again
Even if it’s in this way, even if I will regret it
Thank you for remaining in me
Special-Lee
Hi ft Jenny Kim
A composer
once said that “even the scariest relationships have beauty inside of them.”
The
relationship I had you with was special. It was a scary relationship. Like a
rollercoaster.
I was more
scared of what feelings were to come then the actual feelings themselves. Am I
going to be happy with you today? Or will I end up in tears?
Our
relationship was special in that different situations had emotions that you
wouldn’t typically feel in that situation, attached to them.
One day I
would be going on a romantic date with you and it would end with us being
infuriated with each other. And then there would be days where I would be
extremely emotional and you would be extremely agitated and these clashing emotions
shouldn’t end well but we would find
ourselves in each other’s arms, just happy to be near each other.
Our
relationship was special. It was beautiful and scary.
We were of
epic proportions. We were everything that was wrong but it felt right. And when
we were trying to do it right, it was just so wrong for us.
So how do two
people who seem to be everything wrong in the world, end up with a
relationship? A relationship that went against every social standard and still
work?
But that’s it
isn’t it. The fact that we are so wrong for each other, it’s right. If we were
to be with other people, it would an imbalance of good and bad. But with each
other, all the wrongs seem to cancel out.
The downside
to this is we are special. We are too different for the world to handle. We can’t
be ourselves with each other without causing trouble for everyone else. Because
in the end our relationship will never be ours. It will somehow, in one way or
another, affect a third party and cause them enough trouble to last them a
lifetime.
So when two
people who are so wrong, that they’re right for each other meet, that should be
the end. If we knew what was good for ourselves, it should’ve ended way before
anything could begin. We were selfish. We’ve gotten to a point of no return.
We either end
it here and face the consequences on our own, or continue together with the
fear that there will be worse to come.
We were
special. Too special. Too wrong.
(For everyone
but us.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Was listening to the song Special and sudden inspiration.
Sorry if it sucks.
x0xo
ash
