Hoya’s POV

Tell me Why why why I am only wanting you
No Bye bye bye Don’t ever say those sad words again
I can try try try If you will come back
You know I want get get get your love

That ringtone.

Eunmi’s ringtone.

I knew she would call sooner or later. Eunmi was never the person to simply just accept things. She always wanted to know everything and to know all that in detail. It wasn’t that she was nosey but if it had something to do with her, she had to know.

I knew I had to answer her questions. It wasn’t that I was afraid of. If I could do anything that would make her at peace, I would do it in a heartbeat. But like I said, that wasn’t what I was afraid of.

Eunmi would ask to meet up. I knew she would. I would do what she wanted me to do and meet up with her. We would talk. And then I would regret leaving her.

Eunmi was my weakness. It’s undeniable. Everything about her manages to affect me in some way and I hate it. No matter how far or how long we’ll be apart, she will always have this hold on me. I guess taking this “break” was to kind of weaken the hold. To make us be able to not rely on each other all the time. To be able to be with each other and not suffocate one another.

Ignoring her would make her more persistent. Meeting with her would make me doubt myself and possibly make me change my mind.

Decisions, decisions.

Tell me Why why why I am only wanting you
No Bye bye bye Don’t ever say those sad words again
I can try try try If you will come back
You know I want get get get your love

Fifth call of the day.

I would have to talk to her anyway. Whether it was now or later I would have to talk to her.

“Hi Eunmi”

“Oh my god finally. I have something to say and I don’t want you to interrupt me. I’m going to ask you to do some things for me and you will listen to me and follow what I say. What I’m asking for is not insanely crazy and I’m pretty sure you would’ve predicted I would do this, so you will do it.

What you told me left me in great confusion. I have so many questions and it’s really getting on my nerves that I don’t know. You are the only person who will be able to put my poor mind to rest. So in half an hour, you will meet me at the usual place. I’m going to have an Iced Americano and you’re going to have an Iced Caramel Mocha with extra whipped cream. We will sit and you will answer all my questions. After that, I will leave you alone.

It’s all I’m asking for okay? So half an hour at the usual place.”

She hung up.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Well it’s not like I can actually ignore what she said. I would just have to man up and remember that what I was doing was for the both of us.

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I had gotten our usual seat near the window where the sun directly shone through. It was her favourite place to sit because no matter what season it was always warm because of the sun. It was as if she was a reptile, always having to warm herself in the sun.

Today was a particularly warm day and was thankful for her order to get each of us an iced coffee. I had an exceptionally sweet tooth and thus the reason why Iced Caramel Mochas with whipped cream were my favourite.

I sat there basking in the sun with my cold drink. I kinda understood why she loved this seat. The sun made you feel all warm and content. Like nothing else mattered.

“And you always complain when I ask if we can go here. You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

I looked up to see Eunmi smirking at me.

“Your drink” I shoved the Americano in her hand.

She smiled and sat herself across from me.

“So you wanted to talk?” I asked, taking a sip out of my drink.

I had to avoid all eye contact with her. I knew my mind would start playing with my actual emotions and I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

 “Why do you say it like you don’t know? Like what you did would did and the reason we’re sitting here don’t match up.” Eunmi stared at me with those dark eyes.

“Can you get to the point?” I said back coldly.

I had to be cold. It was easier. It would put her back on task. Reframe her from distracting me.

Eunmi composed herself from her sudden outburst.

“You said that we should take a break. What does that even mean?” Eunmi asked.

“We’re breaking up with the intentions of getting back together. I know it sounds stupid and confusing and-“

“Why?”

“When we had that argument. I went to go drink with Dongwoo. I told him what had happened and I guess it really made me think about our relationship. I realised our relationship isn’t very healthy. Have you not noticed it as well?”

Eunmi’s face fell. She had that expression as if she was deep in thought.

“Continue” She replied.

Eunmi didn’t have to physically reply for me to know that she agreed. The way her face looked and the fact that she didn’t deny, let me know that she had thought about it before.

“Eunmi, I’m so protective and possessive with you, it isn’t normal. You know how I always check up on you and you pretty much centre my life. I give you everything and hardly have a life apart from you. It’s really taking on a toll on me. When we fight, even if it’s about something small, it’s horrible.

And this possessive nature would be so much easier to control if you actually showed some emotions back but you’re just the sort of person who craves attention and love but when it comes to showing it back you can’t”

Eunmi was tearing up. I wanted to stop. But I had so much more to say.

“I asked you to tell me that you loved me and you couldn’t. Is it really hard?”

I stopped not wanting to evoke an unnecessary fight.

“I know you’re not good with showing feelings and stuff like that and that’s why I initiated this break.  We can sort ourselves out. I can learn to not centre my life on just one thing and put my obsessive tendencies to other things. That’s not to say that you’re still not my number one priority. But to actually have other priorities other than just you.”

“And me... How about me?” She murmured, looking down at her hands.

Eunmi knew what she had to change about herself. She was always so in denial about herself though. Always having other people have to confirm things for her.

“You? Well you need to open yourself up. Learn how to show your feelings. Even if you can’t say them, learn to at least show them. You also need to stop relying on me. What happens when I’m gone? I need you to be able to look after yourself. Learn to also have confidence in yourself. You can’t always expect people to be saying nice things about yourself. Try to be content with the things you tell yourself. You’re an amazing girl, trust me”

Eunmi was gazing outside the window. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts, contemplating what I had just said.

This was good. At least she was thinking about what I was actually saying.

“This break… does this mean we’re allowed to date other people?” Eunmi asked.

I was not expecting that.

“I guess. I initiated this break and it would be unfair to deny you of that. We might not even get back together I guess. Just know, that even know I said we should go on this break, doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. If anything I love you so much, that I decided we take this break. To help both of us. If going out with other people helps you with what I told to change, then so be it, I’m not going to stop you. Remember that I still love you though.”

I said those words but I really didn’t want to. I didn’t want her to be with anyone but me. Nobody deserved her. Not even me.

“I love you” Eunmi whispered.

This girl was really full of surprises.

“I love you too, but you’re just a bit late” I said, my heart aching at the same time.

“One last thing before we go. How do I prove to you that I’ve changed? How do we go back to normal, after we’ve changed?” Eunmi said.

“We’ll meet again, let’s say six months? Same place, same time and we’ll talk about our lives. Remember we might not get back together again. You might find someone better. I’m not forbidding communication between us but I think distance will be good. I’ll be living with Dongwoo, so if anything goes wrong, you can always call. But try to remember why we’re doing this.”

“Alright, I understand now. Thanks for meeting up with me today.” She said, after sipping the last few drops of her drink down.

So until March the 8^th, I’ll see you again Eunmi.

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Long chapter today eheh

o btw find the reply 1997 reference :)