And this is the beginning to the end. 

Finding closure is when you know the hardest part is all over. 

But what is closure? How do you know closure is closure? How do you know for certain that all those feelings that you felt are all over and they won't come to haunt you in those late night moments of weakness? 

I think that there is no such thing as getting over someone. No such thing as getting over the feelings. You just learn to place them lower on your priorities list. If you attempt to continue with your life after whatever tragedies you face, the feelings and memories seems to drop lower and lower on the list. 

That doesn't mean that when you're having a bad day that the thought of that person doesn't come back to make you feel worse, because a moment of weakness is never really ever a moment is it? It starts and progresses and when you find yourself thinking of someone who has brought you grief and pain, then that’s the worst part because you realise that the pain doesn't ever get easier. 

But at this point, you're getting better. At least you're associating said person with negative thoughts, rather than being still hung over wonderful memories of the past. People say to keep the wonderful memories and to get over the pain but isn't it the good times of the past that give you the most pain? Wouldn't you rather the anger than the constant reminder of what could've been? 

Hey I’m no counsellor or psychologist. If anything I'm probably the worst person you could go to with and problems. But unlike any old shrink I’ve been hurt too many times to count. And here I am right? I haven’t taken the road of alcohol or drugs. Neither have I written my suicide note and ended my life.

The beginning of the end is scary and the pain seems unbearable. The beginning of the end does not get easier. It might seem like it does but don't be fooled. Only the strongest endure the beginning of the end. The more we look back at our life, we realise how small our problems used to be and that is evident of the strength we gain as a person through the bad times that we suffer through. If you’re a survivor, there are only going to be more bad times ahead.  Worse than the ones you could’ve ever experienced.  

But what is pain without even just a brief moment of happiness? The only people who feel pain are the ones who have known happiness, because there is no such thing as sadness without happiness. Happiness seems so small and fleeting compared to the large doses of sadness that we feel but you only need a small piece of happy to get you through whatever is troubling you.

The end always means a beginning. And a new beginning is a closure. Closure doesn't mean that the past won't come back to disturb you, but at least you know what you’re in for.

I was going through my blog and I found this writing piece. I decided to change around some of the parts and post it again. 

x0xo

ash